Rooty-Tooty!

I thoroughly disapprove of duels. If a man should challenge me, I would take him kindly and forgivingly by the hand and lead him to a quiet place and kill him.

- Mark Twain

You will be assimilated!

Most people are paid just enough to keep them from quitting, for working just hard enough to keep from getting fired.

-George Carlin

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

This brings me so much joy.

And so does this.

-Bob

Funny Money

Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people.

- W. C. Fields

Chew on this for a couple of weeks....

If I wasn't Bob Dylan, I'd probably think that Bob Dylan has a lot of answers myself.

-Bob Dylan

Unprotected Sects

Computers are like Old Testament gods; lots of rules and no mercy.

- Joseph Campbell

Vestal Virgins

You can discover more about a person in an hour of play than in a year of conversation.

- Plato

Sister...You Said a Mouthful!

If you can't feed a hundred people, then feed just one.

-Mother Teresa

Playbill

Give a man a fish, feed him for day. Teach him how to fish and pretty soon every lake and river near his home will be empty unless you also teach him about the environment and his relationship to it.

-Eric Edmeades

Go west young man

Destiny is not a matter of chance; but a matter of choice. It is not a thing to be waited for. It is a thing to be achieved.

-William Jennings Bryant

Let Them Eat Cake…

Let no man pull you low enough to hate him.

- Martin Luther King Jr.

Mayor McCheesey…

People will do anything, no matter how absurd, in order to avoid facing their own soul.

- Carl Jung

White House Blues…

In the television age, the key distinction is between the candidate who can speak poetry and the one who can only speak prose.

-Richard M. Nixon

Happy New Year's!!!

I humbly add my own prophecy of what the dawn of the new millennium shall bring forth: one thousand years of the same old crap.

- Jose Chung

Put a Sock in it…

We hang the petty thieves and appoint the great ones to public office.



- Aesop

Please accept this Laurel, and Hearty Handshake.

What's the use of worrying?

It never was worth while,

So pack up your troubles in your old kit-bag,

And smile, smile, smile.

- George Asaf

Stay Sober.

It should be possible to explain the laws of physics to a barmaid.

- Albert Einstein

The Honeymoon’s Over.

Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.

- Oscar Wilde

Not One Comment...

To think that only yesterday

I was cheerful, bright and gay

Looking forward to well wouldn’t do

The role I was about to play

But as if to knock me down

Reality came around

And without so much, as a mere touch

Cut me into little pieces

Leaving me to doubt

Talk about God and His mercy

Or if He really does exist

Why did He desert me in my hour of need

I truly am indeed...

Alone again, naturally.

-Gilbert O'Sullivan

Build Your Own Bob

Welcome to the first interactive Bob's World post. Here's your chance to step into Bob's shoes and see the world from his perspective.

I'm requesting that you submit a title, a quote and a tagline for Bob.

Then on Dec. 1, I will be pick the best of all submissions and repost with the winners. Who knows...I might decide to mix and match.

Sincerely,

Bob

Frank and Sense…

If we all worked on the assumption that what is accepted as true is really true, there would be little hope of advance.

- Orville Wright

Give the Fiddler a Dram…

The most important service rendered by the press and the magazines is that of educating people to approach printed matter with distrust.

- Samuel Butler

Oh…Beeswax!

For every atom belonging to me as good belongs to you.
- Walt Whitman

Shut your Pie-Hole!

The wisdom of the wise and the experience of the ages are perpetuated by quotations.

- Benjamin D'Israeli

Daily Reminder…

A myth doesn't have to be real to be true.

- Joseph Campbell

Dirty Hairy...

Peace cannot be kept by force. It can only be achieved by understanding.

-Albert Einstein

Hairy Situation...

I love to think of nature as an unlimited broadcasting system, through which God speaks to us every hour, if we will only tune in.

-George Washington Carver

Hair Today...

When I despair, I remember that all through history the ways of truth and love have always won. There have been tyrants, and murderers, and for a time they can seem invincible, but in the end they always fall.

Think of it--always.

-Mahatma Gandhi

The Beard

Each Player must accept the cards life deals him or her; but once they are in hand, he or she alone must decide how to play the cards in order to win the game.

-Voltaire

D’oh!

War makes good history but peace is poor reading.

- Thomas Hardy

Lipserviced

We should take care, in inculcating patriotism into our boys and girls, that is a patriotism above the narrow sentiment which usually stops at one's country, and thus inspires jealousy and enmity in dealing with others... Our patriotism should be of the wider, nobler kind which recognises justice and reasonableness in the claims of others and which lead our country into comradeship with...the other nations of the world. The first step to this end is to develop peace and goodwill within our borders, by training our youth of both sexes to its practice as their habit of life, so that the jealousies of town against town, class against class and sect against sect no longer exist; and then to extend this good feeling beyond our frontiers towards our neighbours.

- Lord Baden-Powell

Left of the dial

One of the most persistent ambiguities that we face is that everybody talks about peace as a goal. However, it does not take sharpest-eyed sophistication to discern that while everbody talks about peace, peace has become practically nobodys' business among the power-wielders. Many men cry Peace! Peace! but they refuse to do the things that make for peace.

- Martin Luther King, Jr.

Slowly and Steadily…

All who affirm the use of violence admit it is only a means to achieve justice and peace. But peace and justice are nonviolence...the final end of history. Those who abandon nonviolence have no sense of history. Rather they are bypassing history, freezing history, betraying history.

- André Trocmé

I've Fallen and I Can't Get Up!

Lincoln said, 'With malice toward none, with charity to all.' Nowadays they say, 'Think the way I do or I'll bomb the daylights outta you.'"

-"Grandpa" Martin Vanderhof

I want some hunny mummy.

Never think that war, no matter how necessary, nor how justified, is not a crime.

-Ernest Hemingway

Elementary!

How good bad music and bad reasons sound when we march against an enemy.

-Nietzsche

Hey you guys…

I prefer the most unfair peace to the most righteous war.

-Cicero

Wine, Women and Pong

War is cruelty and you cannot refine it.

-Gen. William T. Sherman

Schadenfreude

War would end if the dead could return.

-Stanley Baldwin

Ants in my pants

Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time.

-Steven Wright

Jeepers Creepers!

Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter.

- Martin Luther King Jr.

The game’s afoot!

After you have exhausted what there is in business, politics, conviviality, and so on - have found that none of these finally satisfy, or permanently wear - what remains? Nature remains.

-Walt Whitman

Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious…

Life is a moderately good play with a badly written third act.

~Truman Capote

Finder’s Keeper’s…

We in America do not have government by the majority. We have government by the majority who participate.

-Thomas Jefferson

Now I see bees I won

We are not amused.
-Queen Victoria of Britain

Memento Mori

For three days after death...hair and fingernails continue to grow, but phone calls taper off.

- Johnny Carson

Musician...heal thyself!

To stop the flow of music would be like the stopping of time itself, incredible and inconceivable.

- Aaron Copeland

Well, Excuuuuuse Meeee!

I've been on a calendar, but never on time.

-Marilyn Monroe

Potato...Po-Tah-Toe

It is a mistake to think you can solve any major problems just with potatoes.

- Douglas Adams

Omnia Gallia in tres partes divisa est…

Divide and rule...a sound motto. Unite and lead...a better one.

- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Beyond the Pale

I object to violence because when it appears to do good, the good is only temporary; the evil it does is permanent.

- Mahatma Gandhi

The Final Frontier...

The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.

- Lucille Ball