Joke's on me...

My life has been one great big joke.
A dance that's walked;
A song that's spoke.
I laugh so hard I almost choke,
When i think about myself.

-Maya Angelou

Stated secrets

The Secret to humor is surprise.

- Aristotle

Just a perfect blendship

Think where a man's glory most begins and ends, and say my glory was I had such friends.

-William Butler Yeats

Big Ol' Heart

The heart is the chief feature of a functioning mind.

-Frank Lloyd Wright

SPECIAL BIRTHDAY POST...

All the World is birthday cake, so take a piece, but not too much.

-George Harrison

Soul Pain

There's no such thing as a soul. It's just something they made up to scare kids - like the boogeyman or Michael Jackson.

- Bart Simpson

Giant sucking sound

The status quo sucks.

-George Carlin

Gray skies are gonna clear up...

I have no doubt that we will be successful in harnessing the sun's energy. If sunbeams were weapons of war, we would have had solar energy centuries ago.

-Sir George Porter

Something smells fishy...

Fish and visitors smell in three days.

-Benjamin Franklin

Fish Story

Sell a man a fish, he eats for a day. Teach a man how to fish, you ruin a wonderful business opportunity.

-Karl Marx

Not So Happy Returns...

Absence makes the heart grow fonder.

-Thomas Haynes Bayly

Nights Out!

In my age, as in my youth, night brings me many a deep remorse. I realize that from the cradle up I have been like the rest of the race - never quite sane in the night.

~Mark Twain

Dream Squasher!

Isolation is a dream killer.

- Barbara Sher

Line up…

Art, like morality, consists in drawing the line somewhere.

- G. K. Chesterton

Pointillism…

The more the universe seems comprehensible, the more it also seems pointless.

- Steven Weinberg

Soul Kitchen…

Learning how to operate a soul figures to take time.

- Timothy Leary

Day by Day…

Ubi caritas est vera, Deus ibi est…

-Roman Missal

Overdraft…

It is said that the world is in a state of bankruptcy, that the world owes the world more than the world can pay.

- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Worry Wart…

Oh the nerves, the nerves; the mysteries of this machine called man! Oh the little that unhinges it, poor creatures that we are!

~Charles Dickens

I think I'm in love...

Love hurts, love scars

Love wounds, and mars any heart

-Boudleaux and Felice Bryant

Sense and Sensibility

One day, I said to my father, I realized that to make an 'R' all I had to do was first write a 'P' and then draw a line down from its loop. And I was so surprised that I could turn a yellow letter into an orange letter just by adding a line.

- Patricia Lynne Duffy

Reflections of My Mind...

Look within! The secret is inside you.

- Hui-neng

Funny Man...

The light at the end of the tunnel is just the light of an oncoming train.

- Robert Lowell

Companions Are Like Stars...

Maliuolum solacii genus est turba miserorum.

- Lucius Annaeus Seneca

Translation: A crowd of fellow sufferers is a miserable kind of company.

If It Weren't For Bad Luck, I'd Have No Luck At All...

Gloom, Despair and Agony On Me

Deep Dark Depression

Incessant Misery...

- The Cast of Hee-Haw

The Scarlet Pimple...

In an organic system you don't waste anything. We need to educate the consumer to accept a tiny blemish on an orange.

-Robert Patterson

The Eyes Have It...

Our shortcomings are the eyes with which we see the ideal.

-Friedrich Nietzche

My trousers are rolled...

With mirth and laughter let old wrinkles come.

- William Shakespeare

Call it what you will…

The trouble with super heroes is what to do between phone booths.

-Ken Kesey

Smell ya later…

The scornful nostril and the high head gather not the odors that lie on the track of truth.

-T.S. Eliot

Tradgedy + Time =

The comic and the tragic lie inseparably close, like light and shadow.

-Socrates

Manage this!

Whatever is begun in anger ends in shame.

- Benjamin Franklin

Happiness is…

Most people would rather be certain they're miserable, than risk being happy.

~Robert Anthony

Night time is the right time…

There are nights when the wolves are silent and only the moon howls.

~George Carlin

Like the corners of my mind…

Memory is a crazy woman that hoards colored rags and throws away food.

~Austin O'Malley

Everything new is old again…

In New Orleans, gluttony is a way of life.

-Morton J. Horwitz

What's Left...

Human history becomes more and more a race between education and catastrophe.



- H. G. Wells

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

Bíonn dhá insint ar scéal agus dhá leagan déag ar amhrán...

Translation: There are two versions of every story & at least twelve versions of every song....

It Changed My Life...

I bought this three years ago....and it changed my life.

-Bob

The Competition...

I have been up against tough competition all my life. I wouldn't know how to get along without it.

-Walt Disney

Text book case...

I used to be disgusted; now I try to be amused.

-Elvis Costello

I Tell You To Enjoy Life...

Sometimes paranoia's just having all the facts.

- William S. Burroughs

Pre-Mortem...

The thing that's funny is that everyone thinks I'm dead.

-Charles Nelson Reilly

Tears of a frown...

Poverty is not a disgrace, but it's terribly inconvenient.

-Milton Berle

Vice Gripe...

Whenever there are great virtues, it's a sure sign something's wrong.

-Berthold Brecht

Soul Patches...

If you can do a half-assed job of anything, you're a one-eyed man in a kingdom of the blind.

-Kurt Vonnegut, Jr.

Upper Lip Service

Life isn't fair. It's just fairer than death, that's all.

-William Goldman

2009, Here I come...

For last year's words belong to last year's language and next year's words await another voice.

-T.S. Eliot

Happy Christmas

Merry Christmas from Bob.

Terrorizing Terror...

When they discover the center of the universe, a lot of people will be disappointed to discover they are not it.

-Bernard Bailey

Unrefined!

Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away.

-Philip K. Dick

Happy Good Pie Day!

If you want to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe.

- Dr. Carl Sagan

Vice Gripe...

Our virtues are most frequently but vices disguised.

-François de la Rochefoucauld

Unstable Matter...

In the United States today, we have more than our share of nattering nabobs of negativism.

-Spiro T. Agnew

Voter’s regret...

What this country needs is more people to inspire others with confidence, and fewer people to discourage any initiative in the right direction more to get into the thick of things, fewer to sit on the sidelines, merely finding fault more to point out what's right with the world, and fewer to keep harping on what's wrong with it and more who are interested in lighting candles, and fewer who blow them out.

-Father James Keller

Post Election 2008 Quote of the Day...

Win or lose, we go shopping after the election.

-Imelda Marcos

ELECTION QUOTE 2008 QUOTE OF THE DAY...

Remember to vote early -- and often.

- Al Capone

ELCTION 2008 QUOTE OF THE DAY...

I'm tired of hearing it said that democracy doesn't work. Of course it doesn't work. We are supposed to work it.

-Alexander Woollcott

ELECTION 2008 QUOTE OF THE DAY...

Any American who is prepared to run for president should automatically, by definition, be disqualified from ever doing so.

-Gore Vidal

ELCTION 2008 QUOTE OF THE DAY...

Applause, mingled with boos and hisses, is about all that the average voter is able or willing to contribute to public life.

-Elmer Davis