Funny Man...

The light at the end of the tunnel is just the light of an oncoming train.

- Robert Lowell

Companions Are Like Stars...

Maliuolum solacii genus est turba miserorum.

- Lucius Annaeus Seneca

Translation: A crowd of fellow sufferers is a miserable kind of company.

If It Weren't For Bad Luck, I'd Have No Luck At All...

Gloom, Despair and Agony On Me

Deep Dark Depression

Incessant Misery...

- The Cast of Hee-Haw

The Scarlet Pimple...

In an organic system you don't waste anything. We need to educate the consumer to accept a tiny blemish on an orange.

-Robert Patterson

The Eyes Have It...

Our shortcomings are the eyes with which we see the ideal.

-Friedrich Nietzche

My trousers are rolled...

With mirth and laughter let old wrinkles come.

- William Shakespeare

Call it what you will…

The trouble with super heroes is what to do between phone booths.

-Ken Kesey

Smell ya later…

The scornful nostril and the high head gather not the odors that lie on the track of truth.

-T.S. Eliot

Tradgedy + Time =

The comic and the tragic lie inseparably close, like light and shadow.

-Socrates

Manage this!

Whatever is begun in anger ends in shame.

- Benjamin Franklin

Happiness is…

Most people would rather be certain they're miserable, than risk being happy.

~Robert Anthony

Night time is the right time…

There are nights when the wolves are silent and only the moon howls.

~George Carlin

Like the corners of my mind…

Memory is a crazy woman that hoards colored rags and throws away food.

~Austin O'Malley

Everything new is old again…

In New Orleans, gluttony is a way of life.

-Morton J. Horwitz

What's Left...

Human history becomes more and more a race between education and catastrophe.



- H. G. Wells

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

Bíonn dhá insint ar scéal agus dhá leagan déag ar amhrán...

Translation: There are two versions of every story & at least twelve versions of every song....

It Changed My Life...

I bought this three years ago....and it changed my life.

-Bob

The Competition...

I have been up against tough competition all my life. I wouldn't know how to get along without it.

-Walt Disney

Text book case...

I used to be disgusted; now I try to be amused.

-Elvis Costello

I Tell You To Enjoy Life...

Sometimes paranoia's just having all the facts.

- William S. Burroughs

Pre-Mortem...

The thing that's funny is that everyone thinks I'm dead.

-Charles Nelson Reilly

Tears of a frown...

Poverty is not a disgrace, but it's terribly inconvenient.

-Milton Berle

Vice Gripe...

Whenever there are great virtues, it's a sure sign something's wrong.

-Berthold Brecht

Soul Patches...

If you can do a half-assed job of anything, you're a one-eyed man in a kingdom of the blind.

-Kurt Vonnegut, Jr.

Upper Lip Service

Life isn't fair. It's just fairer than death, that's all.

-William Goldman

2009, Here I come...

For last year's words belong to last year's language and next year's words await another voice.

-T.S. Eliot

Happy Christmas

Merry Christmas from Bob.

Terrorizing Terror...

When they discover the center of the universe, a lot of people will be disappointed to discover they are not it.

-Bernard Bailey

Unrefined!

Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away.

-Philip K. Dick

Happy Good Pie Day!

If you want to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe.

- Dr. Carl Sagan

Vice Gripe...

Our virtues are most frequently but vices disguised.

-François de la Rochefoucauld

Unstable Matter...

In the United States today, we have more than our share of nattering nabobs of negativism.

-Spiro T. Agnew

Voter’s regret...

What this country needs is more people to inspire others with confidence, and fewer people to discourage any initiative in the right direction more to get into the thick of things, fewer to sit on the sidelines, merely finding fault more to point out what's right with the world, and fewer to keep harping on what's wrong with it and more who are interested in lighting candles, and fewer who blow them out.

-Father James Keller

Post Election 2008 Quote of the Day...

Win or lose, we go shopping after the election.

-Imelda Marcos

ELECTION QUOTE 2008 QUOTE OF THE DAY...

Remember to vote early -- and often.

- Al Capone

ELCTION 2008 QUOTE OF THE DAY...

I'm tired of hearing it said that democracy doesn't work. Of course it doesn't work. We are supposed to work it.

-Alexander Woollcott

ELECTION 2008 QUOTE OF THE DAY...

Any American who is prepared to run for president should automatically, by definition, be disqualified from ever doing so.

-Gore Vidal

ELCTION 2008 QUOTE OF THE DAY...

Applause, mingled with boos and hisses, is about all that the average voter is able or willing to contribute to public life.

-Elmer Davis

Happy Halloween!

There is nothing funny about Halloween. This sarcastic festival reflects, rather, an infernal demand for revenge by children on the adult world.

-Jean Baudrillard

ELECTION 2008 QUOTE OF THE DAY...

Every two years the American politics industry fills the airwaves with the most virulent, scurrilous, wall-to-wall character assassination of nearly every political practitioner in the country - and then declares itself puzzled that America has lost trust in its politicians.

-Charles Krauthammer

ELECTION 2008 QUOTE OF THE DAY...

A politician should have three hats. One for throwing into the ring, one for talking through, and one for pulling rabbits out of if elected.

-Carl Sandburg

ELECTION 2008 QUOTE OF THE DAY...

The problem with political jokes is they get elected.

-Henry Cate, VII

ELECTION 2008 QUOTE OF THE DAY...

Do you ever get the feeling that the only reason we have elections is to find out if the polls were right?

-Robert Orben

ELECTION 2008 QUOTE OF THE DAY...

If the World Series runs until election day, the networks will run the first one-half inning and project the winner.

-Lindsey Nelson

A Very Special Bob's World

When I touched the screen for Barack Obama, the check mark moved from his box to the box indicating a vote for John McCain.

- early voter Virginia Matheney (Friday, Oct. 17, 2008)

I hit Obama and it switched to McCain. I am really concerned about that. If McCain wins, there was something wrong with the machines.
I asked them for a printout of my votes, but they said it was in the machine and I could not get it. I did not feel right when I left the courthouse.

-early voter Shelba Ketchum (Oct. 18, 2008)


"I touched the one I wanted...and the machine put a checkmark on the Republican instead.

- early voter Bobbi Oates (Oct 18, 2008)

Listen to me....Listen to me...

A great many people think they are thinking when they are really rearranging their prejudices.

-Edward R. Murrow

ELECTION 2008 QUOTE OF THE DAY...

When I have to choose between voting for the people or the special interests, I always stick with the special interests. They remember. The people forget.

-Henry Fountain Ashurst

ELECTION 2008 QUOTE OF THE DAY...

Voting is a civic sacrament.

-Theodore Hesburgh

ELECTION 2008 QUOTE OF THE DAY...

Thinking isn't agreeing or disagreeing. That's voting.

-Robert Frost

ELECTION 2008 QUOTE OF THE DAY...

Voting is the most precious right of every citizen, and we have a moral obligation to ensure the integrity of our voting process.

-Hillary Clinton

ELECTION 2008 QUOTE OF THE DAY...

There was a time when the mere invitation of an African-American citizen to dine at the White House was taken as an outrage and an insult in many quarters. Today, it's a world away from the crude and prideful bigotry of that time, and good riddance. I can't wish my opponent luck -- but I do wish him well.

-John McCain

ELECTION 2008 QUOTE OF THE DAY...

Many of you know that I got my name, Barack, from my father. What you may not know is that Barack is actually Swahili for 'that one.' And I got my middle name from somebody who obviously didn't think I'd ever run for president.

Barack Obama

Untitled #1

It's high time you were shown

That you really don't know

All there is to be known.

-Dr. Seuss

ELECTION 2008 QUOTE OF THE DAY...

Half of the American people never read a newspaper. Half never voted for President. One hopes it is the same half.

-Gore Vidal

ELECTION 2008 QUOTE OF THE DAY...

All voting is a sort of gaming, like checkers or backgammon, with a slight moral tinge to it, a playing with right and wrong.

-Henry David Thoreau

ELECTION 2008 QUOTE OF THE DAY...

A lot of voters always cast their ballot for the candidate who seems to them to be one of the people. That means he must have the same superstitions, the same unbalanced prejudices, and the same lack of understanding of public finances that are characteristic of the majority. A better choice would be a candidate who has a closer understanding and a better education than the majority. Too much voting is based on affability rather than on ability.

-William Feather

ELECTION 2008 QUOTE OF THE DAY...

There isn't any finer folks living than a Republican that votes the Democratic ticket.

-Will Rogers

ELECTION 2008 QUOTE OF THE DAY...

Republicans have been accused of abandoning the poor. It's the other way around. They never vote for us.

-Dan Quayle

Educated Guess...

Human history becomes more and more a race between education and catastrophe." - H. G. Wells

ELECTION 2008 QUOTE OF THE DAY...

As people do better, they start voting like Republicans - unless they have too much education and vote Democratic, which proves there can be too much of a good thing.

-Karl Rove